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In my high school principal days, I encountered a math teacher with a horrific reputation. He started the year by telling the kids that his job was to thin out the Beta Club and the National Honor Society. One day, after he made a soccer player cry, I called him to my office and said, “If my children ever come to this school, you will never teach them. You just need to sweeten up!”
And that’s my message to Donald Trump. Buddy, you need to sweeten up. It’s a shame you were born a Yankee. If you were a Southern Bubba, you would learn the value of several things.
- A proper haircut at the barber shop is a must, not a “style” at a New York Salon. The goal is to blend in.
- Lose the attitude. Adopt an “aw shucks philosophy”. People don’t want to hear that America is going to hell. They want you to “make nice” and tell them things are moving forward and will be better.
- You may be white but, buddy, your majority is shrinking. Those handshakes and “atta boys” better extend to every race, color, national origin and gender orientation. No Southern politician gets elected these days with your tactics.
- Accept this fact. Women are in charge. Get on your knees and apologize to the Latino Governor of New Mexico. A Southern woman in her situation would chew you up and spit you out.
- That judge you are calling a Mexican and prejudiced? Get a grip. In the South we call that behavior “tacky,” and tacky is one of the worst things you can be.
- Understand that the rest of the world hates you except for Putin and Kim Jon Ho. Were you a woman in the South, you would never be invited to join the Junior League since you cannot play nice with others. I cannot even imagine your writing thank you notes.
So I guess my readers have figured out that I am a liberal. But I live with a conservative and have wonderful conservative friends. I am what we call in the South a Yellow Dog Democrat. This label was created in the late 19th Century for voters who would “vote for a yellow dog before they voted Republican.” My Daddy would have called people like me a “bleeding heart liberal.” I will say that if Ivanka Trump were running instead of her father, I might consider switching over. She has lots of qualities that we Southern Women admire and I have a feeling that if her Daddy listened to her, he might just sweeten up after all!
For a good laugh, try Jimmy Kimmel, Nathan Lane, and Matthew Broderick’s “Trumped” YouTube Video.