The meaning of it all
No matter how much we read or what anyone tells us, nothing prepares us for the experience of motherhood. At the age of 64, I can honestly say that there is no more rewarding or enriching experience. Being a mother has taught me several things:
- There is so much I cannot control. This was a hard lesson to learn. I am a planner and have prided myself on being organized. Children change that and the lesson is a good one. The birth of my twins was the ultimate lesson. I thought I was prepared but the first three months are still a blur.
- Parenting adult children is so different but so rewarding. It’s hard sometimes to see children make choices I might not make. It’s even harder to see them hurt and to resist the temptation to step in and fix everything. It’s a lesson in empathy and listening, in learning to say things like, “That’s interesting,” or “What do you think you should do?” At the same time, it’s so rewarding to see them mature and become good people.
- Staying in touch means so much. I remember the day terrorist planes flew into the World Trade Center and I was watching CNN as it happened. My first instinct was to call my husband and children. Cell phones were a great invention. Since that day, my girls and I have remained in much closer contact. That meant I had to also become Facebook and texting proficient.
- Joy. Yes there is heartache that comes with motherhood but sometimes we bring it on ourselves. There is no joy, however, like watching your children grow and become the special people they were created to be. It’s fun to watch my girls do things I would do (though I might not ever point that out to them). It is also rewarding to see them become their own persons, with their own ideas and approaches to life. And of course, there is no joy like grandchildren.
- Love. It is so sad to know that there are people in this world who have no one. I have been to the Veteran’s hospital with My Favorite Yankee and have encountered some of these people. I am grateful everyday for my girls and for the loving relationship that binds us. I wish the same for each of you.